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jokes-and-quotes

This tag is associated with 4 posts

An Accident Report

An Accident Report I am writing in response to your request for “additional information.” In block number 30 of the accident report form, I put “poor planning” as the cause for my accident. You said in your last letter that I should explain more fully. I trust that the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot antenna tower. When I comp … Read More

via the Grande Prairie Neighbor

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Pay your Bills

Pay your Bills A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid, so he asked his collections manager to leave a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.” The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.” … Read More

via the Grande Prairie Neighbor

Speed Limit slow down speed up

Speed Limit slow down speed up Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back — wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously … Read More

via the Grande Prairie Neighbor

Zombie Walk Grande Prairie!!!!

Zombie Walk Grande Prairie!!!! Zombie Walk Grande Prairie!!!! Rumor has it Grande Prairie is having a Zombie Walk ! Saturday, September 3 · 2:00pm – 6:00pm Get Invited !!! Welcome all you Zombie-lovin' freaks!!!! It's time for Grande Prairie to join in the fun, scare some innocent people, and help the food bank!! We will convene at Muskoseepi Park, by the amphitheatre, and leg-drag our way East through Downtown, then wail our way back down to the park! We will accept every kin … Read More

via the Grande Prairie Neighbor